Permission To Be Where I am.

Lately I feel like a wandering stranger in a foreign land. I look around and everything seems drastically different. Tears flood my eyes and fears flood my heart.

This part is only the beginning.

How do I let go and move forward? This is the question I ask the Lord daily these days.

My flesh fights back not wanting to let go or move forward.

I can sense my enemy prowling around me like a roaring lion, just waiting to devour me. Depression lingering over me, desiring to overtake me.  Waters of fear, attempting to drown me.

Many days this week, I have longed to pull the covers over my head and stay there all day.  Instead, I get up and do something to feel like I am not stuck.

I don’t understand why I can’t let myself just BE.

[bctt tweet=”I need to just give myself permission to be where I am.” username=””]

[bctt tweet=”I need to give myself permission to feel what I am feeling.” username=””]

[bctt tweet=”I need to give myself permission to grieve and surrender.” username=””]

Why is this so hard?

Both of my children fought sleep when they were younger. I remember looking at them as they did everything they could to avoid falling asleep. I wanted to help them understand how desperately they needed the rest. I wanted them to give themselves permission to just let go and sleep in my arms.

I do this with the Lord. I can hear God say to me, “Rest in Me.” He encourages me to let go and give it to Him, yet I fight rest. I fight just being because it feels weak and lazy. I am afraid I will miss something I need to do.

I am tired and I am weary. I am waving my white flag of surrender and I am giving myself permission to be where I am right now. I am going to give myself permission to rest when I need to and cry when I need to. I am going to give myself permission to say no when I need to and to say yes when I need to.

Today I am going to be where I am and I will rest in my Heavenly Daddy’s arms, trusting His plans and His timing even though I don’t understand them. I am going to trust His love for me.

Do you need to give yourself permission to be where you are today? Stop squirming, stop fighting, and just rest in your Father’s arms.  Let’s do this together. Let’s give each other permission to be where we are in this moment and in this season.

Heavenly Father, We thank You for Your love. We thank You for the invitation You give us to rest in You and to be where we are. I am thankful we can choose to rest in Your arms of love, protected from the enemy. help us to trust You fully today for everything we need. help us to spur one another on and encourage each other in You. In Jesus Name, Amen!

 

 

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