Part of the adventure in this new season is discovering who I am. I have spent much of my life trying to be who other people are or who I think someone else wants me to be. This has caused me to come to a place where I really don’t know who I am in many ways.
Shopping is overwhelming because I have to constantly ask myself, “Do I like this or am I trying to be someone else or please others?”
I have had to ask the Holy Spirit to help me discern my motives for the things I do.
Since my children have gone to college and I am in an empty house, I have found I do not even know how to answer some of the simplest questions about what I like and do not like.
I feel like the character, Julia Roberts plays in the movie, “The Runaway Bride”. In this movie, this woman becomes every man she is engaged to. She likes the same activities they do, she dresses the way their lifestyle calls them to be dressed and she even likes eggs the way they like them made. By the time she is does not even know what she really likes and what she does not. She ends up going on a little journey to find out who she is and what she likes before getting married.
I have been taking some dates with myself. I am trying different foods, clothes, and activities. I am really trying to learn who the woman I see in the mirror is.
Sometimes we have to break away from the outside voices and spend some time with ourselves.[bctt tweet=”I am not talking about a New Age approach to finding myself, but learning about the woman God created. ” username=””]
I think many of us have spent an immense amount of time and energy trying to impress others and we have lost sight of who we really are.
I want to know how God has created me. I want to love and appreciate that woman. I want to be content and thankful for who God has made me to be and to know the truth that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I want to discover the unique and special qualities in me even though they may be wrapped up in a very simple and quirky design.
I have struggled with this in deep ways over the years. The lie that has been the biggest obstacle to get over for me is the one that says, “I am not good enough.”
“I am not good enough to keep my husband’s attention.”
“I am not good enough to write this blog post.”
“I am not good enough to be the mom I want to be.”
“I am not good enough and I do not measure up to those around me.”
Do any of you struggle with this or am I the only one?
I was wrestling with this one day and I heard God say to me, ” When you put yourself down. you are putting me down and telling me that what I created was not good.”
How I have longed to see myself as I God sees me!
Why do we spend so much time beating ourselves up and tearing ourselves down? This hurts God. It causes Him to grieve.
I am thankful for these moments I am able to take to discover the special, unique, and quirky girl God created.
I am thankful I am learning to love and appreciate who He has made me to be.
There are still things I wish were different. I wish my body looked a little different but I am thankful to God for giving me a husband who loves me and builds me up.
I wish all my senses worked perfectly but I am sincerely grateful for the process I have gone through with my hearing. I am a better person because of it.
I wish I was a little smarter in some areas and more talented in others, but I am thankful for the love in my heart for others and the sensitive spirit I have. I know God uses that to show Himself to others.
I want to encourage you as you spend time with God, to ask Him for His eyes to see yourself the way He sees you. I pray we will all build each other up in the Lord, instead of picking each other apart. [bctt tweet=”I pray we will not compete to be the best all the time, but that we would bring out the best in each other. ” username=””]In Jesus Name!
I would LOVE it if each one of you would share one quality or characteristic you love about yourself like I did in this post.