The Heart Of A Friend

I am a natural pursuer of people. So when I entered a season where I didn’t have much energy or time to pursue, it caused me to bring my relationships to the Lord and evaluate them.

It has opened up a search about friendship. What does love look like in those relationships?

I looked up the definition of a friend on It shouldn’t have surprised me but they even defined a friend as someone on social media. Now, I have many friends on social media. Some are truly friends, but some are acquaintances.

I decided to dig a little deeper and go to thesaurus and these were the words that described a friend.

Advocate, Ally, backer, supporter, accomplice, and well-wisher.

When I think back to some of the friendships over the years, these are not the words I would describe. I think about how I have been used, talked about behind my back, and sometimes in the same room. I think about when I got pregnant all of a sudden there is no one around.

I find that people want to be pursued, prayed for, thought about, given gifts and time, but when it is time for that to be reciprocated, they have a hard time doing that because there is too much going on in their lives.

There are those who want something for nothing, Others rely too much on friends for those things that can only come from the Lord.

People consistently wanted Jesus’ presence, His teaching, His healing, and miracles, but many as soon as He Healed them went away. Then there were those that stood by His side until the end.

I want to be a friend like Jesus. I know we can never be a perfect friend like Him, but as we allow Him to change us from the inside out, and help us die to our flesh daily so we are walking in His spirit, we can be a faithful friend.

As I look at those words in the thesaurus, I think of Jesus. He advocates for me.

 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;  and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world. 1 John 2:1-2

 Jesus has our back. He is our backer. We should have our friends back in prayer and in life.

And David spoke the words of this song to the Lord in the day that the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said, “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold, and my refuge;
My savior, You save me from violence.
“I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies. 2 Samuel 22:1-4

Jesus is available. We can pray to Him at any time. When we are hurt and sad, when we are so giggly about stuff we can’t contain it, He is there to listen. When we are angry and frustrated or struggling to forgive, He is there to help us work it through. He prays for us too.

We are not meant to be friends to everyone. Thankfully, Jesus can. However, we need to be faithful to those relationships God has put in our lives.

Some friendships last for a season, and that is ok. It does not mean that is a bad thing or either friend is bad. It means God provided that relationship with purpose for a season.

Other friendships last for a long time.

I want to encourage you to look at your friendships. Are they friendships God provided for a season, and they need to be let go? What kind of a friend am I in this relationship? Am I trying to get things from this friendship, I need to be receiving from God?

I don’t want to hold on to friendships that are out of season. My heart desires to be a friend who listens and prays like Jesus. I want to be a safe place for my friends and I need my friends to be a safe place for me. I want friendships that are give and take. I don’t want to live in past friendship patterns.

God has placed some really great friends for us in this hard season, but it is also a season of letting go. That can be hard.

I also need to make sure in hard seasons that I am not trying to receive from others what I need to get from God.

Let’s commit together to seek God about being the type of friend He has created us to be and seek Him for help in evaluating those friendships we are investing time and energy. Let’s commit to allowing Jesus to be our best friend, the one we run to before any other.