I was sitting on the couch, taking a few minutes to unwind when out of the side of my eyes, I saw a flash. I looked over at the digital picture frame sitting on the table. Pictures of my children when they were young kept sweeping by, and tears began to flow down my face.
I miss those days often. They were the days when it felt like mom could fix almost anything and what I couldn’t fix, dad could.
As the years have gone by, the wounds are bigger and deeper. I have been the cause of some. People are more hurtful and unloving sometimes. They are living on their own and buying their own food now, except for those sweet moments when they come home, I can feed them.
One thing I have learned in this new season of parenting is that there aren’t many quick-fixes anymore and I have learned that it isn’t me that needs to be the one trying to fix it. I have learned to pray with a depth, I never knew was there.
As moms and as parents, we want to fix things. It is a natural reaction that comes from deep love for others. I think many times when we step in and do that, we hinder what God is trying to do in their lives.
I have seen this in my own life.
We can do this as spouses, parents, children, and friends.
We want to come to the rescue and save the day, but sometimes God wants us to walk through the fire and the pain. He wants us to know the consequences of our actions. Sometimes we need more than a quick-fix.
Constant quick-fixes cause us to rely on ourselves or the person performing the quick-fix instead of relying on God to work through it.
Quick-fixes can cause us to be impatient and we don’t get to learn how to persevere through hard things. Some seasons last a long time. Some seasons last a lifetime, like my hearing loss.
There are many things I have brought before the Lord asking Him to protect those boys from. I have prayed over them in a multitude of ways. I have prayed for my life to go in a completely different direction than it has. I have prayed for people I love in their cancer journeys and illnesses.
I have been angry that God has not given me the quick-fix when I have wanted it and have even begged for it. However, I can see that it has deepened my faith in Him because it has caused me to rely on Him in a greater way than I ever have. It has caused me to seek Him more, and it has confirmed who He is to me.
Maybe the journeys my children have to take are good for them, even though it doesn’t feel good. Maybe the journey I have to take is good for me, even though there are many days I don’t see it or feel it.
Maybe the people we love and walk side by side in this life with don’t need a quick-fix. They need us to point them to Jesus. They need us to encourage them and to seek God first in their lives. Maybe the best we can give them is love, prayer, and accountability.
I love my children more than my life itself. I would give my life if it would mean they would have all those things I have prayed for them.
I don’t always like having to walk through the hard stuff sometimes but I am thankful for a God who walks with me, who loves me, and does what is best for me, even when I don’t understand His ways. I pray I always love my husband, my children, and those in my life God has given me to walk with, the way He loves me.