Sex….it’s one of those topics not talked about out loud very often in the church or anywhere else, except the places that don’t teach us with God’s perspective in mind.

When we leave these important topics closed, we allow the world and the enemy to creep in and teach our children about it all instead.

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I grew up hearing either nothing about the topic or about how sex is on the “don’t” list. It was not discussed as something good between a husband and wife but more as a “no” and “stay away from it” topic. That is something that needs to be repented of, and I am one who has had to repent too.

This was not helpful in me knowing how to talk to my children about it well. I wanted to do a better job, but it was awkward and uncomfortable, especially having boys.

“The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2:22-25

I love this scripture. God created Eve for Adam to be His wife and His helper. God has created both woman and marriage in this passage. My favorite part is where it says they were both naked and not ashamed.

Adam and Eve were husband and wife. God created this relationship, and it was good! There was no shame because it was a holy and sacred relationship. Nothing was tainted here. This was the way God had created it to be.

There were no impure thoughts, nothing in Adam or Eve’s mind to distort the sexual relationship. There was no pornography or other women or men walking around naked with them or around them.

This was holy ground, and it was the first example to us of what marriage was to be. It was beautiful, and there was NO shame!

But just like the enemy does with everything else, He has taken the beauty of what God has created and said, “Did God really say?”. He has deceived us into thinking that just because culture changes, that means that God does too.

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This is the first truth to emphasize, God created sex, and it is good and holy in the context of marriage between a man and a woman.

One thing I think we have not done well in the church over the years is talking about sex as a positive thing or talking about it in a good way. For some of us, older ones, we tie shame and embarrassment to the topic. For some of the younger ones, there is more of a “what’s the big deal?” attitude because it has been made so commonplace. There has been a massive desensitization in the younger generations because of the amount of exposure to so many things associated with sex.

Both of these ways of thinking are not God’s way of thinking. God even talks about it openly in the Bible.

“How beautiful and how delightful you are,
My love, with all your charms!
“Your stature is like a palm tree,
And your breasts are like its clusters.
“I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree,
I will take hold of its fruit stalks.’
Oh, may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
And the fragrance of your breath like apples,
And your mouth like the best wine!”
“It goes down smoothly for my beloved,
Flowing gently through the lips of those who fall asleep.
The Union of Love
“I am my beloved’s,
And his desire is for me.” Song of Solomon 7:6-12

God has a purpose for everything that is in His Word. He wanted us to see this expression of love and desire in a marriage relationship. Sex is good and creative, and this desire for your spouse is healthy, right, and holy.

Now God also speaks to sex outside of that marriage covenant.

“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4

“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Sex inside marriage is sacred and holy, but when we allow ourselves to engage in sexual relations outside of that marriage relationship, we are in sin. Just like with everything else God has designed, He gives us clear boundaries.

Just like with money. Money in itself is not wrong; with money, we can pay our bills and be good stewards. We can be generous and help others with it. It can also become an idol. It can become about us and gratifying the flesh instead of honoring and glorifying God.

This can happen with anything God has created for good, and the enemy takes it, twists it, and deceives us into making it all about our gratification.

“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, “THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” 1 Corinthians 6:15-17

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28

I love that we have a Heavenly Father that talks to us about everything. The hard and the uncomfortable, as well as the good and the easy things.

His Word is FULL of scriptures on it all. He makes things clear. He doesn’t shy away from any of it at all.

Here He talks about prostitution and adultery, men with feminine qualities, and homosexuality. He talks about how if we even look at someone in lust, having sexual thoughts about another person, we have committed adultery. He talks about fornication which is defined as having sex outside of marriage.

It shows me that God is serious about this topic.

I look around and see how many of these things are talked about so casually, even in Christian circles and churches. We treat these things like they are normal and just part of living life here on earth.

If we are to be in the world and not of it, and if we, as born-again believers in Jesus Christ, talk about these things in a way that doesn’t set us apart from the world, I don’t know why the world would take God’s Word very seriously.

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On the flip side, if we don’t talk about sex at all and we slide around having to talk about it with our children and this next generation, then the world and the enemy get to define what God has created for them instead.

Those who know my story and testimony may read this and say I am a hypocrite because I did not live this in my life. However, in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, I am reminded that God has washed me clean, and as I have walked in marriage, I have honored my husband well in this area. God redeems and restores what the enemy tries to steal.

I also can testify to the damage from not living in the beautiful and holy context God created for us to live in. I have had hard consequences for going outside of God’s will in many areas of life, and I can share with you because I now know the “Why” of what God says to us.

I know many others can testify as well, and I would love to hear any testimonies you have on either side of this topic.

God is faithful. He is a wonderful Father to us. He loves us so much He is willing to talk about all of these things in His Word, so we don’t have to learn from somewhere else, and so we can know the beauty of what He has created and know it is good, and we can live in a place wh

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That is the place I want to live, and it is where I want to see all of us living.