Have you ever gotten to a place in life where you finally seem to have found your groove? You are seeking God, following along and all of a sudden life takes a sharp turn. It reminds me of those times when I was younger watching television. I would be watching a program and really into it at that point. Suddenly, you see these flashing colors and this horrible sound. They have decided to interrupt this important broadcasting for some kind of testing. It would annoy me like crazy!!!
This year there have been some interruptions to life in multiple ways. The hardest has been seeing my Father-in-law struggle with brain cancer and recently passing away. Other interruptions are going on around us as well.
For those who have been following my blog know that God has given me some evident vision. We have begun studying Genesis together in regards to God’s personal relationship with us and those in the Bible beginning with Adam. I am still going to be studying and blogging in that direction, however right now I need to interrupt my regularly scheduled blogging, to bring you life.
I have been continually praying for God to show me who I am in my writing and speaking. What is my purpose in writing and what is my speaking voice? It has been a journey with God. As I have asked Him to search my heart and to show me things about myself that I need to let Him work on, He has been gracious to answer.
One struggle I have is letting people into my process. This struggle shows up in all areas of life for me. Sometimes I have gone through my process with God and my husband, but then what everyone else sees is the result.
The truth is my process is messy, and it is hard. My sweetness doesn’t always shine through in the process. My process can be confusing to some people, and it can look complicated, but my process is necessary. [bctt tweet=”It is in the process, healing and freedom come. It is in the process where people see Jesus. ” username=””]
This is my writing and speaking voice. It is a voice that is real and transparent, and it is a voice that invites my readers and listeners into my process. So today I am inviting you into my process of grief and life changes. Instead of not blogging because I don’t have the material I think I should have right now, I will blog life as it is. I am working on those blogs, and they will come on when they are ready, but I am not rushing studying and sharing God’s word.
Right now my heart hurts. My Father-in-law was a second dad to me. He was a spiritual dad, and He was pivotal in helping me grow in my relationship with the Lord. Right now we have lots of projects going on, and as I have gone through our attic, I have been looking at pictures of my children when they were little. I had looked at pictures of me when I was little and reminders of my childhood. I have read cards that are giving love and encouragement. I have been thinking about life and those in my life who don’t know Jesus. My heart is full of emotions that bounce all over the place.
Grief is a trigger for depression which I have struggled with throughout life. Life is busier than usual and my time with God has taken a creative turn. I am clinging to my Savior in ways I haven’t in a while. Can I just tell you I am not the person I want to be when I have not spent time with God. I am fighting for that time right now.[bctt tweet=”This grief is new. It is deeper than any other grief I have ever experienced, and it is changing me. ” username=””]
I know God is using it all in my process of sanctification as well. All these interruptions make me more like Him! I know both my Father-in-law and Mother-in-law prayed for that for me.
I also know I am not the only one going through hard things and the interruptions of life. What is your struggle today? How are you hurting today? Can we pray for one another?
I encourage you to share on the blog today. Let’s come alongside one another as sisters in Christ, and I encourage you to be brave and invite us into your process. I love you all!